Party of One, But at Least I Have a Plaid Dress On

May 20, 2014

60s-shift-dress-42shift-dressdresses-and-jelly-shoes

SO, I have found myself throwing many a pity parties this past month, and it's just me, alone in a room, sadly twirling a noise maker in the dark. It's got to stop. I've been single for almost half a year now (wut?) and I've found along the way that I somehow became shy around boys (once again, wut?). They fluster me with their slow moving smiles and kind eyes, and I constantly wish it was still the 1800's so that it'd still be socially acceptable to carry fans around. Behind which I could hide when I blush. And dry heave. 

I have no idea where my game went to go die. I have none. Absolutely none. Haha and because of that, I don't have too many boys occupying the line outside my door, which is why I've been throwing myself all these pity parties. But now that summer's around the corner, I've been shaking myself out of these sordid shindigs and trying to remind myself that happiness doesn't lie in someone else, but it lies in me. I shouldn't put that heavy responsibility on someone else's shoulders- it's mine alone to carry.  Which leads me to share these wise and lovely words from Emery Allen:

'There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise."

You tell us, girl.

vintage-shift-dress-51how-to-style-60s-dress-28

outfit-details copy
DRESS: c/o Stranger Bird Vintage (similar: here, here, here, here)
SHOES: Urbanog

Coffee
Rebel-Closet
peach-collar
Dividers

______________________________________
Follow Messages on a Napkin on:

BLOGLOVIN • FACEBOOK • PINTEREST • TWITTER •  MY SHOP!
______________________________________

41 comments :

  1. This dress is SO darling!! And I'm with ya, living for yourself and loving life is so important... even when you're with someone! Wishing you lots of wonderful spring time adventures!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. That dress is seriously adorable on you, but I hope you know that already!

    ReplyDelete
  3. First off, you are adorable. Absolutely lovely in a sixties school girl who listens to the Beatles kind of way (the best kind in other words!)

    Secondly- I feel this is so, so true that you must be happy with yourself and your life before someone else can come into it. And... it may feel lonely at times, but six months without a boyfriend is not horrible (says the girl who was without an SO for like three years, but still). Have adventures, dream big and that's when someone will see you shining because you really, really do shine Marlen!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love love love that quote! I think its so true that real happiness can only come from ourselves as nice as it is to be in a relationship in certain aspects I think theres some things that are better when single. Also love the dress! Ive been on the hunt for a good plaid/gingham dress for summer.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Eh, boys are overrated. hahaha that's my current thoughts on them. Also, you look so freaking cute!! I love those colors. x

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think the unfortunate truth is we're all going to come across that person when we least expect it--or at least when we're not trying. YOU ARE AN AMAZING LADY and need not worry about le boys. One will come who likes your blushy shyness and who will want to take the time to help you through your shyness until he gets to know you for reals. I've never had ~a line of boys~ either and am just like you in terms of shyness so I know your feels. AT LEAST WE HAVE EACH OTHER.

    PS) this plaid dress is adorable. I especially love that collar, ugh, I would wear this in a heartbeat.

    Have a wonderful week, my sweet Marlen. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love this dress so much! you look amazing :)

    Maggie
    www.PolishedClosets.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Loove the colour of that dress, super cute! Just throw yourself at the summer, pretend to be confident, even if you're not. Pick yourself up and go have fun. What matters is being happy, not having someone at your side <3

    The Quirky Queer

    ReplyDelete
  9. One thing that helped me when I was single was reading self help books (I know, just trust me). It helped me to figure out what kind of person I wanted to be with and how I wanted my relationship to be. And doing this sort of helped to boost my confidence as well.

    Also, your dress is so darling! I love the 60's silhouette and high neckline.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Last year I swore to myself that I wasn't going to get into a relationship, that boys/men were pretty lame, and that I wanted to focus on work/my "art"/ being a good cat mom, ect. Of course (cosmic fuckery), a few weeks in I meet this guy who majored in history (swoon). I tried to convince myself to stick to my guns, and boy, did I give him the run around for a while. But I eventually gave in. A year, a trip around the US, and a signed lease together I'm very glad I decided to put the blinders on at one point because they made this one stand out the most. I always roll my eyes looking back in my journal because the one day I was all "I don't need to be in a relationship...I love being independent...blah blah." And literally the next entry was, "So I met this guy...he majored in history..." Oy.

    You are one hot single lady, and I think those pity parties are awesome parties instead. You're just waiting for someone equally as awesome to invite.

    (And if you ever need a little time away, come up to Door County! Blogger meetup/awesome party/coffee shops/beaches/the wild unknown...it's calling you, Marlen! :) )

    ReplyDelete
  11. First off, um you look amazing. Your haircut and the way you are rocking this dress is perfect. Also, I love that quote. Trust me, it's good to remember even when you are in a relationship. It's too much pressure on the other person if you expect them to make you happy every moment of every day!

    http://howtomakehome.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. I adore this dress!!! The 60s fashion era is my very favorite. I agree with you about being happy with yourself and with your own company. Marlen, I can sense some of your personality through your blog and you sound very intelligent, a gal with a great sense of humor and sweet. Those qualities you can't hide even when you think you don't have game. I have the feeling you will be in holding hands with an awesome person before the end of this Summer lol.
    Xo
    Carelia
    Mysmallwardrobe.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love the dress ! You look gorgeous!

    Susannah xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think it's all right to have pity parties sometimes. After all, we are just human girls as my daughter used to say when she was 5. But there is so mush wisdom in this sentiment - yes, happiness comes from within. And let me tell you, you have it! I see it in your face every time I look at your photos - the older you get, the more I see it (I look at your older posts randomly as they appear after your new posts). It takes time to get to know yourself. But you have the strongest tool, my dear - being genuine. And as anything else, it's a lifelong process too - otherwise why would we still be here if we know everything already, right? :) I am 41 and still learning... about myself I mean. And the inner happiness. It's always there, just buried under some little current sadnesses at times. Love is always there. I think we just need to let go of fears that if something we want is not in front of us immediately, it never will be. It will be. The one your soul is looking for is also always looking for you, at this moment he's craving to find you. You are such a rare, rare girl. It'll take a pretty rare guy to make one exceptional couple. But you'll get there. With love, Natalia

    ReplyDelete
  15. You're a doll!! I agree with Kristian, just keep shining

    Sharon

    ReplyDelete
  16. What an amazing dress! You're absolutely rocking it <3

    Sweet Madame Blue

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm crazy about this dress and the perfect colour for your skin tone!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I will read that quote whenever I'm feeling down about anything, it's so uplifting. Also your dress is the coolest prettiest dress I've seen all week, I love that it's purple! :)

    onacruz blog

    ReplyDelete
  19. Ooh, you were able to pull that dress off in a brilliant way! That quote is a good reminder too!
    xoxo,
    Brooke Jordan

    Pineapples & Daisies

    ReplyDelete
  20. Keep your head up! And keep throwing on these cute little frocks and forgetting about being shy! You're adorable and the world loves you.

    <3 dani
    www.shopdisowned.com
    http://blog.shopdisowned.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. You are so cute! You always rock these awesome vintage dresses finds! Love the words from Emery Allen.
    -Chelsey
    -http://chelseypatti.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  22. What a beautiful (and true!!!) passage. I personally found so much joy and learning about what I wanted when I was single.

    This dress is adorable on you!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Love yourself first and that special someone will come around. You look fantastic in this purple dress!

    www.lavishingg.com
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  24. Love this purple plaid dress, absolutely adorable! Also love the lip color.

    Take this time to find out who you are, what you want. Then you can figure who you want in your life and want you want from them. This will help build your relationship not only with someone but yourself as well. I agree with Kristian go out have adventures!

    <3
    heather
    fashionistanygirl.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. That is some serious wisdom spoken there.. the more at ease you are with yourself the more attractive you are to others... I personally think it's good to be single for a bit and be selective... Keep your head high and your standards higher... in other news, love love love this dress on you!! Killer..
    Hope
    hchdesigns.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  26. You got this, girl! Anyway who can turn out a phrase like "sordid shindig" will definitely find a Prince Charming :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. LOVE the purple plaid! You look adorable as always!

    <3 Shannon
    upbeatsoles.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. Amen to this! I'm definitely going to be writing that quote down, and girl, let's bring fans back because maybe I wouldn't be so insanely awkward then. (But then again, probably not ha). Oh, and love your lip color!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I am loving this shift! I have wanted to do plaids for Spring/Summer but all of them seem too harsh. Girl - you got this. Don't ever feel sad about being alone. You are beautiful, intelligent and have a fierce sense of fashion. What else do you need?

    xo. Maggie
    Moda & the Mar

    ReplyDelete
  30. aww you look gorgeous girl! I seriously love this plaid dress on you, the fit is so perfect and the color's great on you. and i think Kristian said it best! You seem hilarious & seriously shine so much when you smile (which is like in all your pics and from the video you did once I think in real life too :) . But ya def, find happiness w/in yourself and from loved ones, although I totally hear ya, i never really had bfs in college til i met Jonny and sometimes got bummed about it. one thing i realized is that it's hard to meet people if your whole group of friends is mostly not single and you're not meeting many new people. maybe you could join a writer's group or something in chicago? Not that you'd find a guy that that likely buy you'd surely make new friends who might have friends of friends of friends...

    ReplyDelete
  31. If I've learned anything, love shows up where you least expect it. My husband and I hated each other when we first met. Then that slowly turned to friendship, then a little down the road, love. My advice is to live your life for yourself while you can, do stuff that makes
    you happy. Enjoy being single and finding happiness in yourself. The rest will follow :-)
    xo jac
    thesunshinedistrict.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  32. You look so pretty in purple with your dark hair. I love these words that you shared. Although I have a boyfriend, I've burned a lot of bridges with friends over the years and was unhappy for a while. Then I realized that I didn't need those people in my life anyways and if I focus on loving myself, eventually I will meet friends who love me too. I think it's so great that you are doing things for yourself instead of chasing after guys. The right guy will find you when you least expect it :) Also, I had no idea that Bomb Girls was canceled! I'm sad now haha.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I love that quote, and you're looking super cute in purple!

    adventuresinhel.blogspot.fi 

    ReplyDelete
  34. You always hit right here *points to heart* with these little nuggets of wisdom. I've been thinking about how being in a relationship can encapsulate you so much that when it's over, you get spit back into the world thinking, "how do I just be me, again?"

    Enjoy the time that you're getting to have with yourself. Now about that dress...I'm rejoicing that legs are out! In a non-creepy way. I just love short, doll-like dresses. You look wonderful!

    Audrey
    www.lululinden.com

    ReplyDelete
  35. Yeah, for real… you're adorable… and I truly imagine you bumping into your own personal Prince Charming while decked out in something fabulous and vintage (like this plaid dress) and perusing the shelves of a second hand book shop in the city (there's a really great one in Wrigleyville… I can't think of the name, but it's right next to the park… hint, hint…). In the meantime, just be you. You are a truly delightful human being!

    ReplyDelete
  36. I love the outfit so much! You look adorable with the dress and also your short hair. :-)

    I didn't have a boyfriend till I was in my 20's and would just observe my friends date and be in relationships. Some would just lose it when they would go back to being single. It was pretty crazy how much some of my friends would depend on a guy to make them happy. Seeing all of that made me realize that there was so much more to life than being in a relationship. I love being in one but I also love doing things on my own. I'm sure you'll find someone when you least expect it! It somehow always happens that way. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  37. oh honey. that quote is so true, there's much more to life than being in a relationship and being comfortable being alone and loving yourself should always come first. (and i'm not only saying that because i've been single forever, haha.) but then again, you never know what's waiting for you and at least you are wearing a pretty dress! and can i just tell you how socially unacceptable i am in carrying a fan around in the summer:') genuinely would not leave the house without one last year, it's so handy when it's scorching - and also for hiding.. xx

    ReplyDelete
  38. I love this post. I laughed out loud about the "dry heave" part, and I just admire you so much. I'm glad you're gathering the right lessons from this season in your life. Live big and attract the right people in your own time, in your own way, and it'll all be peachy keen. =]

    ReplyDelete

Talk, talk, talk!

f16bf93391' type='text/javascript'/>