SO, I have found myself throwing many a pity parties this past month, and it's just me, alone in a room, sadly twirling a noise maker in the dark. It's got to stop. I've been single for almost half a year now (wut?) and I've found along the way that I somehow became shy around boys (once again, wut?). They fluster me with their slow moving smiles and kind eyes, and I constantly wish it was still the 1800's so that it'd still be socially acceptable to carry fans around. Behind which I could hide when I blush. And dry heave.
I have no idea where my game went to go die. I have none. Absolutely none. Haha and because of that, I don't have too many boys occupying the line outside my door, which is why I've been throwing myself all these pity parties. But now that summer's around the corner, I've been shaking myself out of these sordid shindigs and trying to remind myself that happiness doesn't lie in someone else, but it lies in me. I shouldn't put that heavy responsibility on someone else's shoulders- it's mine alone to carry. Which leads me to share these wise and lovely words from Emery Allen:
'There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise."