Winners & Losers

Jul 30, 2013

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I don't know what it is about this outfit that makes me so head over heels. It might be that the old Levis jacket and the round sound glasses make me feel so wonderfully thrift store-y. Or it might be that that pom pom belt adds just the right amount of kitschyness. Or maybe that the long skirt and full collar of my dress (which is for sale in my store) makes me feel like I should be off carefully picking tomatoes in the French markets while my darling husband is at work. Whatever it is, I've been wanting to give myself the thumbs up every time I caught my reflection in a glass, haha!

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Speaking of my darling man, I need the help of all my female relationship veterans. Those of you married for 50+ years, lend me your ears! I'm trying my hardest to not start World War III, but I'm afraid I'm on my last tether. And about what?

The dishes.

Ok, before you laugh at me, you need to look at my serious face. You see, I work from home whereas Marc goes into an office, and I have the feeling he's thinking we have a whole "his little lady" situation going on here. Ew. And I've tried everything to set the record straight. I've tried asking sweetly while batting eyelashes, reminding him politely, reminding him not-so-politely, creating a chore chart, exploding with a goal to kill, and pulling the "I'm disappointed" card. All to no avail. Today it happened again for the 297634019324th time, and, at my wits end, I went as far as looking it up on Cosmo. Double ew.

They said I need to remember men are technically part of the animal kingdom and so I need to train them in such a way. For example, a good idea would be to engage his playful side and act goofy for a few minutes before asking him to go do his fair share of the work. You know, like a puppy. Or using a calm and soothing voice while telling him to get his act together. Like...a horse whisperer? Slow face palm. 

I think better advice would be "go and buy paper plates". Which isn't all that bad of an idea...

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Dress- for sale in my store HERE
Jacket- thrifted
Sunnies- thrifted
Belt- c/o Southwest Vintage
Bag- c/o Southwest Vintage
Shoes- UO

PS- Don't forget to enter my Folk and Fables giveaway- it ends Thursday!

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  1. You have a amazing vintage style!

  2. This dress looks amazing on you, you deserve the thumbs up! I like the belt and its pop of colour and your wicker bag. In regards to the bf, I feel ya! I've been with my bf, Paul, since we were seventeen and all I have to say is, I don't know how we're still together! Haha. Maybe it's communication, maybe just fate, who knows?!? Wish I could be of more help!

  3. Because I never ever clean a dish (the shame!), I am vastly unqualified to offer up advice of any kind. But, the chore might be less of an egregious mountain of smelly nasty if you keep as few dishes in the cupboard as possible? I'm talking two bowls, two cups, etc and put the rest in storage.

    Or, just be a Solo cup household. That's pretty classy.

  4. That dress looks amazing on you! Good luck in the dish wars!

    Ladyface Blog

  5. First things first- That outfit! Oh my stars and garters. I'm not sure why I love it so either- the jean jacket? The sunglasses?- but you do look so like you are heading down to a Farmers' Market.

    As to the getting-used-to-living-together situation... I'm not sure what works for the two of you, and from your description, I'm not actually sure if the problem is putting dishes away after they've been cleaned, or cleaning them or what.... but I think sitting down (sometime that is NOT around a mealtime and when the dishes are put away, even if you had to do that earlier in the day. This will help make it a calmer discussion because the dishes situation will not be looming nearby) and tell him this. Specifically, the " I have the feeling he's/(you are) thinking we have a whole "his little lady" situation going on here." and that that is not the case, that you are from home during the day, but it is your place of work at that time and you treat it as you would office hours. Because, that might honestly be the bigger issue. It is not just dishes. You need to discuss together what you both expect as far as cleaning goes (including what needs to be done, and by when- like can dishes be the sink for a day or two or can the bathroom be cleaned weekly or bi-weekly etc.), and who is doing what. Maybe all things need to be done by both of you or maybe it would be better splitting up the jobs. But, engaging in a discussion- and listening to him too- is my best advice when it comes to talking about the household responsibilities- and also about putting the both of you on the same page about working from home.

    Good luck!

  6. I love the pom-pom belt, and I don't know what to tell you about the dishes! I'd probably just nag like crazy, but I don't think that's good advice!

  7. Oh what an annoying situation! I think we've all found ourselves there at one point or another. My husband is good with the dishes, not so much with the laundry. I can't tell you what works or what the best route is, but I can tell you that he got sick of my nagging and sighing every time I found myself doing more than my fair share and after three years, he's much better with it. LOL

    And you should definitely give yourself props and thumbs up and fist bumps and the like for your outfit today! This dress is darling!

  8. Love the pom pom belt! So cute.

    And doing the dishes used to be a struggle between me and my husband. I usually cook, and then he would do the clean-up. Yet he would wait ALL NIGHT and take his time getting around to doing the dishes, which bugged me (and left the kitchen smelling all post-dinner, you know?). I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine- and I began waiting until "whenever I felt like it" to cook dinner. After a few 10 pm dinners, I think he got the message. ;)


  9. Well, I've never been in a relationship OR been married for 50+ years (just kidding I have I'm actually 65 NERHEHRHERRRR) but I did have a roommate who would never clean her dishes. Ever. And so what I did was I put them in front of her door. It really pissed her off. Don't do that. She ended up not being our roommate sophomore year.

    Look at how much help I am.

    But it might work for you... for a man... I'm referring to your signifigant other, of course.

    It worked for my mom once with her college roommates. I don't know why it never worked with mine. I always ended up cleaning things, so I know why it's so tough for you. IT IS TOUGH. IT'S NOT HARD TO LCENA WHY CAN'T PPLE JUST DO IT???//

    ok sorry I really suck and am not much help lol but seriously good luck I hope something works out for you fingers crossed

    sigh but you are looking cute, Marlen, and I can see why you'd regard yourself so highly whenever you catch glimpses of yourself in a mirror. YOU are darling, yes yes you are

  10. The colour of this dress is AMAZING on you, love it with the denim jacket and the funky belt.
    Ugh, men. The worst. That's super frustrating, just because you're at home doesn't mean you're free to do the dishes. I'd just suggest alternative days to do certain chores? If he doesn't do them, just remain firm that you're not going to do it.

  11. I love that belt there, it's just perfect! :)


  12. Ha - when you figure out how to get a man to do the dishes let me know! I honestly don't think they even notice them piling up in the sink until they run out of dishes to use.

    Love the outfit!

  13. HA! Love this post. My boyfriend and I are the complete opposite; He's the one that gets mad at ME! My advice (or at least what I know would work on ME) is to just to stop doing them altogether, his at least, and only wash your dishes. If you make dinner for the both of you, just stop... Only make it for yourself. Or if you have an "I'll make the dinner you do the dishes" deal, just keep lettin' them pile up until "the breaking point" (though I can't guarantee you that this is the most sound advice...) GOOD LUCK!


    Folk & Fables <——thanks for da code!

  14. omg dude. I don't want to say that boys are like genetically bad at dishes because that can't be true, but I nearly go insane at Travis's apartment (which he share with two other dudes). And I only stay there on the weekends!


  15. Your hair is looking amazing, and I love that belt!

    Kate from Clear the Way

  16. looooooove that belt!!!!
    ohhh the dishes, something so simple and everyday but definitely grounds for divorce haha we are solving this issue by buying a portable dishwasher asap/when we have room. maybe a countertop dishwasher would work???

  17. Aww I definitely love this outfit, too! The dress is pure love :D

  18. Oh girl, I have the same struggles! I'm a stay at home mom and wife and we battle with this a ton- I feel like he thinks I'm just here for cleaning up his mess! No way! I've tried every way to talk to him about it and have seen a little improvement, but we still have a ways to go.

    I love that dress. I'm always looking for finds like that at the thrift store in our town and love pairing up vintage items with modern jewelry or other items of clothing.

  19. It is very lovely!

    Christina Klein

  20. Hm, I have no advice. It seems like you've tried everything! that is a tough one! best of luck, though.

  21. Gotta love an outfit that feels so perfectly you! And the chore battle can be a tough one. For us, we make sure we both have the same expectations about who is going to do the chores. Our general expectations is that if one makes dinner, the other washes dishes. That doesn't always happen, sometimes with work or meetings or whatever, it makes sense for one of us to both cook and do dishes, but neither of us like dishes or cooking much, so we typically say you only have to do one or the other, not both, each night. But that works for us because we both expect it and have talked about that and expectations about who does other chores in the past. I think everyone has to come up with their own system.

  22. Oh the age old dishes debacle... My advice is to be honest... tell him what you appreciate about him first and then say how him leaving the dishes makes you feel.. then when he answers, listen.. don't sit there waiting for your turn to speak again... but truly listen... also, some people are more "task" oriented than others so keep that in mind.. stay away from chore lists, that can come across as mothering... and lastly in my house we came to an arrangement that if I cook he cleans up and vice versa... so that's my advice and good luck to you!

  23. Love the dress with that denim jacket

  24. Oh man, I feel like this relates to a fairly similar situation I went through as well. Only, not in an actual relationship with a guy. With my roommates. Or should I say ex-roommates...ugh I've got an update to do on the blog about that. Sigh.
    Anyway, on lighter notes, your dress is cute tied up with that floral belt/scarf/thing! ;)

    The Dragonfruit Diaries

  25. I love your hair and your glasses :)

  26. okay this outfit is too good marlen! too good!

    & girrrrrrrl i'm in that same boat about the dishes and other chores weird limboland. my guy and i have been living together since march and this dishes thing is driving me nuts. he works in an office and i'm like just living the kindof unemployed life with only working two days (sometimes just one) and three days a week at an unpaid internship. yikes ive already tired myself out about this subject just writing this out! hahah but ummm yeah, i hope you find the peace soon. i hope i do too! Our dishes have been sitting for a few days now and no one has budged so i guess i should do it. But he'll have to take out the trash or vacuum, two of my least favorite things to do. i guess assigning different chores would work? we'll see.

    at this volume

  27. The colourful belt adds a whole level of awesomeness. So cute.

  28. HA! My sis has the same thing with her man - and I have no advice for you, she get so annoyed she ends up doing them in the end... Maybe one solution is to reward him (Like a puppy) when he does finally do the dishes - if you nag him he'll only retreat further >:(

    ♥ Paula Shoe Fiend.

  29. Aww, that dress is super lovely on you! Can totally see while you're smitten with it :) And good luck sorting out the chores- I know it can be a super frustrating task! I'm the lazy one in my relationship (at least in terms of cleaning), so I probably deserve an "I'm disappointed" message or two ;)



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